Ya know,

I'm like kinda feeling fucked up & having lots of unwanted thoughts right.
& lots of unwanted feelings.
I'm like having mixed feelings.
&& i think i have changed fucking lots.
Drink & drunk && getting high is now a part of my life.
I never used to be this before but am now.
Yes, i am ruining my precious life.
My wonderful,beautiful life.
But still it is considered my everyday part of life.
I hate the fact that i am becoming worse & worse each day.
My heart says no, my brain says yes.
Weird.

I was seriously so fucked up with Monster.
Feel like slapping his face.
In the moment there.
I couldn't help thinking that today will be our last meeting together.
I am gonna backed out from his life slowly.
Cause if i stayed longer
Then its gonna be hard for me to say good bye.
Cause saying good bye is the hardest thing to do.

&& i hated when i have mixed feeling.
Cause my bloody mind is not in a good state.
&& my mood is gonna change.
&&& i am gonna be moody.
Cool.
Gosh, i really feel bad about quarreling with Mum.
I meant was i wasn't in a wrong you see.
I just asked for money.
& there she goes,
blabbering.
& the fucking worse is she thought i am involve with selling drugs or doing drugs.
For goodness sake Mum,
i am not in to drugs.
But but but,
i am into drinking & getting drunk.
Forgive me for my wonderful & beautiful SINS.
Haha.