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To be brave is to love someone unconditionally without expecting anything in return. To just give that takes courage, because we don't want to fall on our face or leave ourselves open.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008

GIVE MY FREAKING HEAD A BREAK WILL YA!
Or i will smashed your fucking head.
Knocked it against the wall till it bleed & crushed.
Slap your fucking irritating face.
Sprinkle salt to your wounds.
Dab tobacco to your injuries.
Tie you up.
Watch you suffer in pain & agony.
Watch you struggled your way out for freedom & survival.
I am not kidding about this.
I MEANT WHAT IS WRITTEN ABOVE.
FEEL THE WRATH YOU ASSHOLES.
SUFFER MY CRUELNESS!

Cool.
Yeah, this is what running wild in my head right now.
& in this point of time, you don't even want to be my friend.
Been doing lots of thinking alright.
Sweet head or Monster ?
I have to make a decision.
GOSH!

So this is a fucking reason why i got so tense up & cranky.
Why does things crop up in the middle of no where.
& at any time of my life.
Come on, i need a fucking break from all my sufferings & problems.
Good enough though.
I won't be in S'pore from Thursday till Sunday night.
&& tomorrow I am meeting AMAI ATAMA! ( sweet head )
Hopefully, tomorrow will be the best day ever.
&& my happiest day.

I'm sorry Monster. I still love you. But i can't just leave my relationship with him. I know it my biggest mistakes ever. I'm rushing on things for which i shouldn't have. Change & I'll be there for you. Right now, i am afraid Monster. & this feeling is the worse things ever. Afraid of losing is what i will lose. But there's nothing much i can do. I'm so sorry what the sins & things i did that you hate. But it's your fault not mine. Get this in your head first. Its cause of you i suffered lots of things.